Break. Burn. End.

Hola fellas :D Finally I have time to write my blog, so ......... what's now?

Well, now I'm not gonna share you some story, just a little bit clue about what happened in life.

I'm in a big confusion right now. Every time I stop by and think, everything turns out different. So negative, but real. And then I tell myself "yeah, no one cares, right?". Well, couple days ago, I had a fight, with dad. yeah, so random. Mom's at Jeddah. My brother? Ergh, who the fuck care? My grandma? She's annoying. A friend? Well, they're all busy. So? No one :)

Well, I've just realized that some people have been stalking on me. You know what, gurl? I'm glad. Somebody is spying on me, well, it's like papparazzi I think. But if you're stalking on me, it doesn't mean that you know me enough. So don't judge me so quick.

There's some new song that I'm addicted to. Here's a picture of lyrics from Taylor Swift's new song called "Begin Again". It's really touching :'') And this is the official music video :)

thank you and ciao :D

-michelleaveril

Dear XZXD

Hey there,

I just want to thank you for all those memories. I've been waiting for a year :) and I just want to tell you that I love you always. But I can't wait forever. Life goes on, right. I don't wanna make my life more miserable. I know what I'm doing and I take any risks for you, but just for now I want to forget about you. Hey, I won't forget all those memories, it's great, lovely, and unforgettable, but I just want my life back. I love you now and forever. Thank you and sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry for my feelings. Thanks for those precious memories, those are ever-lasting in my life.

Goodbye :)

your old friend,

Michelle Averil

Unexpected Things

Hola, fellas ;) Miss me so bad? Me too.

I mean I miss me so bad. The old me, when I can laugh as hard as I can, I can find the real happiness. Now? My life is miserable. It's getting worse and worse. I love the new class, it's amazing. Some people may can be a little bit sucks, but some people are awesome. But it's not that. My health is getting worse, and no one cares.

I didn't go to school today, because I'm not feeling well. I decided to take some absurd photos and trying to forget life a little while.

Here's the photos

Now, I want to tell you something, some quotes that I've just learned in my life. :)

1. Sometimes you just gotta accept that some people can only be in your heart, not in your life.
2. True friends come to your life, they don't comfort you with a lie, but they hurt you with the truth to make you a better person, although sometimes it hurts, but doesn't mean they're not supporting you.
3. There's always gonna be a problem, no matter how small or big it is. What you gotta do is live with it, not run from it.

Disappointment

Now, I don't want to do anything. Don't expect me to do a thing. Cause everything I do, everything I love, everything I want, give me disappointment.

Thanks for everything.

~michelle averil~

Senior High School - XB

Hey y'all! Miss me? ;;)

Now, I'm senior high school student, can you imagine that? I can't. Now my life is absolutely different. Well, my besties here are still Wynne and Winda. I'm with Winda at XF, and Wynne at XB. But we still hang out every break time.

My class? Ergh, I can't stand it. Wanna know why? Well, I think the new kids are not really into me, you know what I mean? I'm the vice chairman of the class. The chairman is Wiraa *yaay* *hurray*. My close friends at XB are Lani, Shinta, Winda, and Wira. The others? Well, sometimes I make a fun a little bit and the whole class would laugh, but I just haven't moved on from 16th generation of Junior High School yet. I mean, some friends are stinks, they laugh at a-not-funny-moment, and they trying to get attention, a lot. But some friends are kind, and lovely.

Hey, I'm senior high school student, but doesn't mean I changed. I'm still the old me, the funny, the pretty, the lazy, the absurd, the chubby one. I might change a little bit in the weight (?) I'm still in love with the one, too. But day by day it's getting harder, you know. Weird, but what can I do? lol, whatever.

Here's some last pictures of me, so you could recognize me when I'm growing up ;)

And here are some pictures about my high school and class <3 p="p">

CIAO!
-michelleaveril-

Overboard - Michelle Averil & Darryl Oliver

Hopeless

Sometimes being in love is not so bad. It's kinda like a miracle actually. It feels so good, but only at the beginning. Well, what about the end? It's up to love itself.

I hate when I have a crush in someone. I can't help my feelings, you know. I cry a lot. Sometimes I don't know what to do, and feels like wanna go away from life.

The last few days, I wasn't in the mood. I didn't know what to do, so I decided not to do my usual activity (chatting & twittering). I turned my bbm and my twitter off. So, I decided to open my blog and tumblr and youtube. It was amazing. I do a lot like flashing back the time when I was really happy, I enjoyed my life and love the way it was.

Today, I saw something, and I've been thinking. What a silly me. I saw a photo on my tumblr and it says "Did you actually think you mattered to him? Silly girl." and I was like 'whoa, it hurts, dude.' I mean, it's true but, it hurts too, a lot.

I'm your friend. I know a lot of things about you. I know what you're gonna think if I do this, and so on. But unexpected and unspeakable thing happened. I fell for you. I knew I shouldn't do it, but I did it anyway. I act like I used to be. Your friend. I knew I shouldn't love you, and I realize, I must not. I stayed away from you. I ran from my feelings. I didn't speak day by day. I secure myself with many things. 'I want to over you'. But I can't. Day by day, week by week, months by months, I live my life with this condition. Pretending I'm okay, pretending I'm fine. One day, I didn't know what to do, I couldn't help it anymore. I told you everything. My feelings. Everything, just hoping that you'd okay with that and I kept saying sorry for everything I've done. You said, it was fine, it was alright. And you gave me too much hope. You acted like not you, giving me more hopes, each day. And then, you were gone. I didn't know where. I tried to follow your paths, but I was lost too. So I've been thinking, when you were in love with my friend, you were like give everything you had to her. And so did you when you were in love with juniors. How silly I am. I WOULD NEVER BE LIKE THEM.

 i'm just the worst

-michelle averil-